In nature there is balance but within that balance there is also change. More than remaining stable, like a rock, our well being is in a dynamic equilibrium. In many ways, we are like a pendulum.
- You have always taken care of others (instead of sometimes taking care of others and sometimes being taken cared by them).
- You never cry (instead of crying when you are sad and not crying when you are not).
- You have always worked so hard your health is compromised (instead of working extra-hours when it's really necessary and knowing when to take time to work in a more relaxed way).
Fixed behaviors cause dissatisfaction, at best. They can also cause serious suffering. If that is the case, finding balance, your dynamic equilibrium, will be part of your healing. And in that process of finding your balance, sometimes you will find yourself going from one extreme to the other. Which will be more uncomfortable that the previous state of fixed imbalance. If we accept our growth as a learning process, we will allow ourselves time for the pendulum to find its natural movement (and we will become more comfortable with it). If you are in a process of growth, it will help you to read this:
"Many of us have gone from one extreme to another: years of taking care of everyone but ourselves, followed by a time of refusing to focus on anyone's needs but our own.
We may have spent years refusing to identify, feel, and deal with our feelings, followed by a period of absolute obsession with every trace of emotional energy that passes through our body.
We may succumb to powerlessness, helplessness, and victimization, then swing to the other extreme by aggressively wielding power over those around us".
"The goal .. is balance, but sometimes we get there by going to the extremes.
Today, I will be gentle with myself, understanding that sometimes to reach the middle ground of balance, I need to explore the peaks and the valleys. Sometimes, the only way I can extricate myself from a valley is to jump high enough to land on a peak, and then slowly ease myself down".by Melody Beattie. The Language of Letting Go.
Empowerment and Enlightenment Training, New York
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